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About Deviant ErnestREDeerMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 5b :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 2 4 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 5a :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 1 0 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 4 :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 1 0 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 3 :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 2 2 The Raising of the Ship - Chapter 2c :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 3 2 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 2b :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 2 2 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 2a :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 3 0 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 1b :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 4 0 The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 1a :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 4 2 The Hunt for the Jester - Prologue c :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 2 0 The Hunt for the Jester - Prologue b :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 6 4 The Hunt for the Jester - Prologue a :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 6 0 The Raising of the Ship - Epilogue :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 4 0 The Raising of the Ship - Chapter 14b :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 4 0 The Raising of the Ship - Chapter 14a :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 2 2 The Raising of the Ship - Chapter 13 :iconernestredeer:ErnestREDeer 6 0

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The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 5b
Sorry for the delay, I ended up making a lot more changes than I anticipated, taking bits from the next chapter and adding it to this one, and taking bits from this one and putting it into the next chapter. It means the next chapter is a bit of a mess now as well, so I might be late with that one too... So here's a bumper chapter to make up for it!


Originally, this section was several scenes stitched together with lots of pagebreaks - the sort of thing I'm trying to get rid of as it really disrupts the flow of the story. The second thing I've been changing with my rewrite is removing the omniscient narrator and replacing it with a character's perspective. I've also been reconsidering some of my minor characters, making sure there is a purpose to why they say and do what they do instead of being positioned for purposes of plot and decoration. Trying to change all three things at the same time gave me a lot of grief here, and if you compare it with the original you'll see that much has changed.

You'll note that at the very beginning of this chapter I have Jay 'recall' events of the previous day - do you think this worked? I wanted to have the scene with the royal mages without disconnecting it from the rest of the castle scene, but I'm now wondering whether it deserved a separate scene. I also cut both Jess and Yangus out of the scene, as they didn't really add much, and expanded the role of the guards instead of having half a dozen with a few words each. Finally, I moved the bit with Charmles from his room to the mages quarters to make him more of a brat for reacting the way he did - otherwise it'd be reasonable to demand some strangers wandering into his bedroom to get out before he called the guards.

In my very first version I had Jay be the one talking to King Clavius simply because he's the game's protagonist and therefore does everything, but when I looked back I realised that it made much more sense for Jessica to be the one speaking to the King. She's the one with the connections after all, and as I said in the chapter, it's much more powerful coming from her than it would be from Jay. It's for that reason she stayed behind while the others went to bring back Charmles, so I had to shift her lines about and it left Angelo as the only sceptic again, something that's beginning to bother me as it seems he's always complaining in my work.

Just to confirm, the 'Va! Va! Voom!' scene is in the game - hilarious to watch (maybe), but really hard to write without cringing. In the end I made it unintentional, as I struggled to reconcile it with my version of King Clavius. I also seem to have cut the party's reaction to that, so expect that in the next chapter.

I admit there were bits I could have cut entirely, such as the bit with the mages and scaring Charmles out of his room, and just got on with the initiation. However in the end these bits stayed as it gives some context to Charmles' trial and the impact his actions are having. Hopefully Charmles doesn't seem overdone, but I don't think I've exaggerated his personality, just given him more opportunity to show what a brat he is. I mean, his in-game nickname is Prince Charmless, and it's no exaggeration to say that he has no redeemable features whatsoever. Personally I felt the lisp is overkill, but again, it was in the game so it stayed. What do you think?


Well, that's enough talk for now. Expect more of Charmles in the near-future! Until then!
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The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 5a
Originally I'd planned to post the whole chapter instead of splitting it in half, but not only did it start getting rather long, I also gutted the entire chapter last week and I'm still putting it back together. So, here is the first half, and hopefully the second half will be ready by next week.

Those familiar with my last version may note that I've once again tried to merge the scenes so there's not so many broken threads of conversation and the in-game dialogue merges more smoothly with the rest of my story. This had the side-effect of completely changing the backstories of the NPCs the party speak with, but then the NPCs were never important anyway, and hopefully this now gives a much better flavour of Argonia and its royal family than the original version.

The second half of this chapter will be more of the same with chapters being merged and characters re-imagined and dialogue re-worked, but we'll get to meet the King and the Prince everyone is talking about. Don't worry, after this chapter things will start getting a lot busier.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and until next time.
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The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 4
To be honest, I almost forgot about this chapter. It started as a couple of throwaway paragraphs to explain where the sabrecat mounts suddenly appeared from. Then it got expanded into a couple of small scenes at the beginning of the next chapter to show where the sabrecats came from. Then it got cut and put into my 'deleted scenes' folder. Then it came back more developed as its own chapter. Then it got cut again. But it seems at some point it must have come back again. So if it seems that this chapter has appeared from nowhere, that's probably why. But it is in the game, so it's not entirely from nowhere...

One of the many revisions was the decision to have Jay as the only person to see Sabrecat Father Felix. The reason behind that is simple - if any of the others had been there they would never had let him take on such a stupid quest. Of course that meant I had to tailor Jay's answers to Tom's questions to make sure that he would be let in, and tailor the other's answers to make sure they weren't. In all honesty though, I think Jessica was more likely to get the questions right than Jay was, but she wouldn't have accepted the quest, so that's that. That, and the fact that I couldn't think of a reason that they would want to go see Master Felix and so just had them go along out of curiosity, was why this chapter got cut so often - I didn't feel it was particularly true to the characters (they're in a desperate hurry and short on coin, remember?) or the world I had been building - but then it always came back because without it there were too many questions unanswered.

Of all the revisions though, this one does flow a little better. Even if it feels like they're doing this because destiny, and the plot, say so.

Oh, and we will be seeing Father Felix again, or at least hearing from him. We may even find out what he was so busy working on. But not for some time yet, as I've only just broken past the block I was struggling with in the next chapter. So much for my buffer...

Oh well, onwards!
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The Hunt for the Jester - Chapter 3
It's finally happened! We finally get to see Dhoulmagus again! Can you believe he hasn't appeared since the end of the first volume? He's the main villain and he didn't have a single appearance in volume two! Add to the fact that it's been nearly a year since the party last saw him, and I hope you understand why this is quite an emotional moment for them.
Only now he's disappeared again, and that's the last we'll see of him for a while. Oh well!

The chapter's mostly self-explanatory, the party follow the avenging-Golding posse (I call them the Golding Guards) to this island (I called it Katequan) and find Dhoulmagus, find he's protected by a magic barrier and are told where to find something to break the barrier. This is pretty much exactly how it happened in the game, but with less dialogue. Just consider it fortunate that they happened to arrive at the same time as one of the few people familiar with magic artifacts did, otherwise the party would have been well and truly stumped. But that's the Goddess for you, always playing with the odds.

Originally I wrote the Golding Guards as a bit of a joke (which is only a slight exaggeration from the game), but this time I tried to show that, yes, they are a seriously tough crew. To put it in perspective, as a group they are stronger than the party and would beat them in a fight. For now anyway. Individually, they're about even.

And yes, finally a small battle scene - I was worried if I didn't put any action in you'd end up going to sleep. There's more dialogue and plot on the way though, but hopefully that little spot of fighting means it won't be too monotonous.

The next chapter's all ready to go for next week, so until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D
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The Raising of the Ship - Chapter 2c
And finally we get to the point of this chapter - finding out where Dhoulmagus is! It's still a coincidence that Jessica finds two people talking about the exact thing she needs to know, but the rest of the chapter shows that it's something everyone's been talking about so hopefully it's not that much of a stretch. Besides, the Goddess is known for bending the odds from time to time, which is why one of her names is Lady Luck. Though the Goddess didn't feel all that lucky herself.

In the game, you run into the cutscene with the usual 'talk to everyone you can and explore until something happens' routine, but I decided to make it more interesting. Partly because I didn't think just anyone should be able to just wander around the fanciest hotel in the game, and partly because it amused me to have Jess going undercover as a bunny girl; in fairness it is her most powerful armour at this point in the game. I'm not sure where the idea originally came from, but when I imagined the other characters' reactions to her in the outfit the idea stuck - Captain Hastings from Poirot directly inspired King Trode's 'I say'. For the record, my version of Jessica's clothes are more conservative than the game model, so the bunny girl outfit does reveal more.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this lighthearted chapter. Things will be getting (relatively) more serious from now on, as we get back to the main story and all the action. The next chapter is ready, but my laptop may be going in for repair sometime soon so we'll see how it goes. Until next time!
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Hello everyone,

If you're reading this, I hope you've been enjoying one or more of my stories. For those who are following me, THANK YOU Love

I tend to say what's coming next in the artist's comments sections rather than post journals, but I thought having something on my front page to say what I'm working on might be helpful. So here it is:

    1.       First major project (DQVIII) - What I'm working on now :)

          a.       Rewrite

                                                   i.      Volume A – Finished (for now)

                                                    ii.     Volume B – Finished (for now)

                                                    iii.    Volume C – Minor progress (major work on chapter 1 needed)

                                                  iv.      Volume D – Pending

                                                    v.     Volume E – Pending
                                       
                                               vi.     Volume F - Pending

          b.      Finish

                                                       i.      Volume F (final volume... I hope) – major progress – on hold, pending rewrite

          c.       Write side stories (Concurrent) – Original!

                                                     i.      B+M – concept

                                                     ii.      WTW – concept

                                                    iii.      R+B – partial progress

                                                     iv.     E - concept

          d.      Storyboard sequel set-up – Original! (Concurrent/Sequel?) - I haven't decided how to write this yet, but I've got                                                                              several threads I want to follow

                                                    i.      J+M – concept

                                                   ii.      J – concept

                                                   iii.      C+C – concept

                                                   iv.      B+M – concept

          e.      Storyboard prequels – Original!

                                                     i.      E-X – pending

                                                     ii.      J+M+Z – minor progress

                                                    iii.      Y+R – pending

                                                         iv.      J+A+B+M – pending

                                                    v.       A+M+F – pending

    2.       Other writing projects summary - various other pojects I'm planning on writing - I admit I may have bitten off my than                                                       I can chew!

          a.       Second major project (PK) – sci-fi/fantasy adventure/coming of age/world exploration – major progress - :S

          b.       Fifth major project (FFX) – fantasy adventure – significant progress :(

          c.       Seventh major project (AT) – fantasy adventure – concept :)

          d.     Ninth major project (SW: OR) – sci-fi adventure – significant progress :)

          e.     Twentieth major project (LoZ) - fantasy/adventure - considerable progress :)

          f.        Thirteenth major project (RW) – fantasy/coming of age – minor progress :/

          g.      Fourth major project (RA) – war adventure – minor progress :)

          h.       Third major project (RG) – sci-fi adventure – minor progress :)

          i.        Tenth major project (O) – fantasy adventure – pending :/

          j.        Eighth major project (FFXII) – fantasy adventure – concept :)

          k.       Twelfth major project (DQIX) – fantasy adventure – concept :)

          l.        Fourteenth major project (J+D) – fantasy/sci-fi adventure – concept :)

          m.     Fifteenth major project (SC) – fantasy/crime adventure – pending :)

          n.      Sixteenth major project (DC) – fantasy – concept :)

          o.      Eleventh major project – Original! fantasy/coming of age/world exploration – concept :)

        p.      Seventeenth major project (A) - romance/coming of age - concept :)

        q.      Eighteenth major project - Original! - post-apocalyptic world building :)

        r.      Nineteenth major project (MN) - fantasy/adventure/coming of age :)

       s.     Sixth major project (O) – fantasy adventure – minor progress :(

       t.      Twenty-first major project (FoZ) - fantasy/adventure/politics - minor progress :(

       u.     Twenty-second major project (PSU) - fantasy/sci-fi/adventure

    3.       Bonus projects - Things that I may do, but are less of a priority and more if I get stuck on Section 2

          a.       Minor project (PM) – fantasy coming of age/world exploration :)

          b.      Writing class project – Original! :/

    4.       Planning - Stuff that I should do to help my stories tie together

          a.       Write coherent timeline

                                                     i.      For the Family

                                                     ii.      For the Goddess

          b.      Storyboard

                                                    i.      AW – finish writing timeline – further world-building needed

                                                    ii.      N – significant progress – rewrite/continue?

                                                    iii.      KH – concept – plot-building and world-building needed

    5.       Read - Stuff that I should read because it'll help my own stories, but also because I enjoy them - feel free to make                 recommendations

          a.       Mutius’ (PK + original) – pending :(

          b.      BoM (DQVIII) – complete :)

          c.       SW – expanded universe + Wookiepedia - pending :(

          d.      ???

    6.       Watch – compiling- again, stuff that I should watch because it'll help my own stories and because I'll enjoy it - feel free                to make recommendations

          a.       Star Trek original series – cancelled :(

          b.      Doctor Who original series - in progress

    7.       Play - again, stuff that I should play to help my stories

          a.       DQVIII DS version

          b.      Finish DQIX
 
     c.      Finish LoZ OoT

     d.      Finish LoZ TP


I hate how Deviantart removes all my formatting when I paste into it - this is why I have to upload everything into PDFs! Rage

Anyway, I hope that gives you an idea of what I'm doing, and I'll update it as I go. Sorry about all the abbreviations, this was originally more for my own reference - I'll explain in more detail when I get to the projects properly on here. Sweating a little... 

Last updated 28/08/16

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:iconwayleri:
wayleri Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you sooo much for the fave! I really appreciate it! Adorable Girl Anime Emoji (My kawaii plushie) [V6] 
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:iconernestredeer:
ErnestREDeer Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2017
No problem, keep up the good work :)
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:iconyuuike:
yuuike Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2016  Student Digital Artist
This is a bit late but ahhhh thank you so much for the watch bby:iconmuahplz: I really appreciate it <333

If you like my art feel free to check me out on YouTube ,Tumblr Instagram ,or Facebook  :iconasdfghbeeplz: //shamelessly advertises LOL
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:iconernestredeer:
ErnestREDeer Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2016
No problem, keep up the good work! :D
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:iconmermaidninja:
MermaidNinja Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2016
Just wondering. Will Argonia have an original character who would be better suited as an heir than Charmles?
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:iconernestredeer:
ErnestREDeer Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2016
Well, I'm not planning on giving him any brothers or sisters - he's the only heir to King Clavius, if that's what you're asking.

As for whether there are alternatives outside the current royal family, there are several nobles/Helms positioning themselves, and even King Pavan has a (weak) claim, but no candidate has a clear lead over the others - there'd probably be a civil war if Charmles doesn't work out. Hence why everyone's worried :D

As for whether Charmles will end up inheriting King Clavius' throne... Well, we'll see how he shapes up. ;)
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:iconmermaidninja:
MermaidNinja Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2016
I meant like a cousin on the late queen's side of the family.
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:iconernestredeer:
ErnestREDeer Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2016
Ah, I see. Yes, the queen had siblings and cousins, as both she and Clavius had aunts and uncles, most of whom have children of their own. All have a claim to the throne, but King Clavius has effective kept them neutralised and away from court, so there's little chance of meeting them at this stage.

Having said that, they're still waiting in the wings, eager to seize any opportunity Clavius gives them (there's a reason he's worried about his son's initiation ceremony). Unfortunately, none of them have a stronger claim than the others, and so if it comes to that it'll end up in civil war (another reason Clavius is worried).
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:iconarea283:
Area283 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2016  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav.
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:iconernestredeer:
ErnestREDeer Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2016
Not at all, keep up the good work! :D

(Sorry for the late reply Sweating a little... )
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